Pieces of me

It has been a long time since I posted anything.   I have steadily been working on myself and finding out who is, Amanda Tachick.  What does she want, where does she want to be, is she at peace with what her past holds, what does she truly believe in and who is she!  Today finds me wondering:  at the age of 35, have I missed the oppertunity to have children?  is it too late for me.  Then on the other hand I am wondering because I have been alone for so long, other than the occasional boyfriend, would I adapt to having children so late in life?  should I have had my chrildrean earlier in life?  and will I truly find someone I can spend the rest of my life with, or have I spent so much time on myself and taken so long, that I have missed all the windows of oppertuntiy to find that once true mate and settle down.  Now granted I have the dog who has been a constant and loyal companion, has filled the void for several years, but have I become...

I worked so hard to push you away To push you from my mind But I find you creeping Creeping back in Lurking around Lurking in my dreams My dreams before deep sleep My dreams before waking Haunting me Haunting me of what I felt What I wanted What I loved more than I realized Touching me Touching me in that special way Your eyes dance with fire Fire built by desire Waking me Waking me from the slumber A slumber I brought on And thought I needed to be rid of you Feeling again Feeling again what I worked so hard to lock away Because you didn’t return the same love Because you didn’t see me Hurting again Hurting because of all the emotions I’m flooded with emotions Swirling around me Will I ever be free of you? Will you ever see me as I saw you? Will all of this old chaos settle my life? Will you settle this all or light the flames higher? Like a moth to a flame The feelings so raw Feeling so true Feelings so rare A flutter in my heart Where hope still lives Silly female wishes Or where the...

A wish is a wish That can come true If meant for me Or meant for you Do you ever wish upon a star The first star you see in the night Wish it may and wish it might Grant all the wishes your heart desires? What do you wish for? Do you wish for yourself Do you wish for others Do you wish for it all Do you ever wish when you blow out a candle Wish for hope Wish for strength Wish for peace Wish for grace When you close your eyes and wish What do you see that makes you wish What do you feel that makes you wish What do you hear that makes you wish I wish for strength I wish for wisdom I wish for health I wish for hope But most of all I wish for faith With out faith we have none of the rest With out faith what do we have to live for. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

A lone star in the sky Shining so bright Spreading its light Gazing up high You shine so bright I begin to wonder If you see the same star Where are you watching it from Where do you live, What do you think What do you feel Are you seeing the same star as I Watching it so intensely And wondering where I am Do you think of me And wonder about me Do you yearn to touch and hold me Like I do you Do you dream of me Like I do you And wake up wondering When we shall meet? I gaze and wonder At the star so high And wonder if I wished right now Would it come true And I would see you… ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Where did you go when I needed you most? The hole is so big in my life Yet I don’t know why Your wisdom Your smile Your teasing way It seems just like yesterday I spoke to you last The man I looked up too And loved with all I am Has left and gone Leaving me all alone No more hugs No more talks No more his favorite girl No more his little princess I feel so alone So lost So confused Which way do I go What do I do Arguments ensue Family lines drawn Hatred and disgust Flow from every pore Why did you leave And leave me all alone Why did you leave And leave me lost Why did you leave And leave me confused I’m tired of being the rock I’m tired of answering their problems I’m tired of being confused and hurt I’m tired of feeling alone I know you are in a better place Yet your time here should have been longer A freak accident took you from me And now I’m alone You taught me to live To remember the past To remember what life was like To remember at all So I shall live on And make you so proud ...

You were never mine to be had.. Why I thought I could make you love me Is beyond my comprehension Why I thought I could show you who I was And you would want me, I must have gone mad I crossed a line and treaded so lightly Not wanting to sway you, but only show you I crossed a line hoping you would see That I could love you and was good enough What made me think I could convince you That I am not like the rest What made me think I could make you see That I was good enough for you I can see that I was wrong, I can see that what I was doing was living in a fairytale I can see now that what I had seen will never be I can see now that I pushed you away even though I moved slow You were never mine to be had You were never mine to love You were never mine.. you were never mine. ©2008, Amanda Tachick