Reminiscing......

I was not a popular person in school.  I was more of a loner.  While I may have been true to me, I didn't have close friends, best friend who I could tell anything to.  I was not into the same things kids my age growing were.  I played sports, but in all honesty I was not the best.  Was I the best me while playing sports?  Sure!  Was I a star athlete, NO!  So then I had to have been brilliant, right?  No again.  I was the best me I could be.  Should I have applied myself more?  Sure, but I passed my classes with A's and B's which was good for me.  Then came college.  What an unexpected ordeal.  Not my favorite time in life at all.  Feeling lost and alone, I turned to people who I thought were friends, but not in a true sense.  Because I was out in the world unprepared, I followed like a sheep and almost flunked out of college.  We all make bad choices, but for me I wasn't sure I would live through mine. Then came the downward spiral.  They say when you hit rock bottom, all you can do is go up from there.  I made the decision to become a part time student and work full time.  I moved off campus into a place of my own and learned to survive.  Now don't get me wrong, I was living on my own technically since I was 18.  After I started college, my mother turned my bedroom at home into her sewing room, and when I would go home to see them, I slept in the guest room.  I never really felt like I had a house to go home to from that day on and learned to lean on myself.  I never asked my parents for a dime once I was done with college.  I was on a mission to prove to myself I was worthy of love, happiness and comfort when I had that all along with in myself, but I was so hell bent on being angry at the world, life and God for dealing this horrible ordeal I was in.  There were many months I did not know when I would eat, but I made do.  Many months I didn't know if I would have enough money to pay bills, but I did.  Some how the money was always there.  I then made a huge decision to go back to school and get my MBA.  I blame that decision on the conclusion I received while playing volleyball in a bar league at the time.  However, getting my MBA was all for me.  I needed to show myself that I was not all the negative things I felt: dumb, stupid, a disappointment to my parents and most of all a failure. .....to be continued

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