Pieces of me

I worked so hard to push you away To push you from my mind But I find you creeping Creeping back in Lurking around Lurking in my dreams My dreams before deep sleep My dreams before waking Haunting me Haunting me of what I felt What I wanted What I loved more than I realized Touching me Touching me in that special way Your eyes dance with fire Fire built by desire Waking me Waking me from the slumber A slumber I brought on And thought I needed to be rid of you Feeling again Feeling again what I worked so hard to lock away Because you didn’t return the same love Because you didn’t see me Hurting again Hurting because of all the emotions I’m flooded with emotions Swirling around me Will I ever be free of you? Will you ever see me as I saw you? Will all of this old chaos settle my life? Will you settle this all or light the flames higher? Like a moth to a flame The feelings so raw Feeling so true Feelings so rare A flutter in my heart Where hope still lives Silly female wishes Or where the...

A wish is a wish That can come true If meant for me Or meant for you Do you ever wish upon a star The first star you see in the night Wish it may and wish it might Grant all the wishes your heart desires? What do you wish for? Do you wish for yourself Do you wish for others Do you wish for it all Do you ever wish when you blow out a candle Wish for hope Wish for strength Wish for peace Wish for grace When you close your eyes and wish What do you see that makes you wish What do you feel that makes you wish What do you hear that makes you wish I wish for strength I wish for wisdom I wish for health I wish for hope But most of all I wish for faith With out faith we have none of the rest With out faith what do we have to live for. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

A lone star in the sky Shining so bright Spreading its light Gazing up high You shine so bright I begin to wonder If you see the same star Where are you watching it from Where do you live, What do you think What do you feel Are you seeing the same star as I Watching it so intensely And wondering where I am Do you think of me And wonder about me Do you yearn to touch and hold me Like I do you Do you dream of me Like I do you And wake up wondering When we shall meet? I gaze and wonder At the star so high And wonder if I wished right now Would it come true And I would see you… ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Where did you go when I needed you most? The hole is so big in my life Yet I don’t know why Your wisdom Your smile Your teasing way It seems just like yesterday I spoke to you last The man I looked up too And loved with all I am Has left and gone Leaving me all alone No more hugs No more talks No more his favorite girl No more his little princess I feel so alone So lost So confused Which way do I go What do I do Arguments ensue Family lines drawn Hatred and disgust Flow from every pore Why did you leave And leave me all alone Why did you leave And leave me lost Why did you leave And leave me confused I’m tired of being the rock I’m tired of answering their problems I’m tired of being confused and hurt I’m tired of feeling alone I know you are in a better place Yet your time here should have been longer A freak accident took you from me And now I’m alone You taught me to live To remember the past To remember what life was like To remember at all So I shall live on And make you so proud ...

You were never mine to be had.. Why I thought I could make you love me Is beyond my comprehension Why I thought I could show you who I was And you would want me, I must have gone mad I crossed a line and treaded so lightly Not wanting to sway you, but only show you I crossed a line hoping you would see That I could love you and was good enough What made me think I could convince you That I am not like the rest What made me think I could make you see That I was good enough for you I can see that I was wrong, I can see that what I was doing was living in a fairytale I can see now that what I had seen will never be I can see now that I pushed you away even though I moved slow You were never mine to be had You were never mine to love You were never mine.. you were never mine. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Glances meet from across the room Soulful recognition A yearning, a desire So forbidden, so craved Each wondering who this stranger is. The slow sweep and survey of the other Yet nothing seems familiar Except the slow tugging each soul feels Slowly drawing them together Slowly feeding the other what they have needed. Fire dancing in each others eyes The wonder of the feel of skin on skin The feel of breath on skin Should it be done Or should it be left alone The glance is broken Recognition has been lost Was this an idea of lust Or a glimpse of what is to come. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Why do I hurt so much inside.. Will it ever go away? This hole I have in my heart, will it ever be filled.. Will the piece ever be given back to me to make me feel whole again. Will I ever know the eternal bliss, the utter happiness of those who are around me? To feel the love, the need, the want of another just as much as I love, need and want them. To see the happiness in their eyes, in their body language as they look at me. Will I ever know what it feels like to hear my name on my lovers’ lips, and feel my heart skip a beat? To look in their eyes and feel the same yearning I feel for them. To feel their touch so light as a feather and rough like sand paper on my skin. To feel their hot breath against my ear whispering to me. Will I ever know what it will feel like to hear my own children laugh and play or is it a whimsical dream. To hear them call me mommy and to feel their unconditional love given back as I give unto them. Will I ever know? Will this pain ever end? ©2008, Amanda T...

Why do I stay when I only seem to get hurt Is it the connection that I feel so strong that I can not deny Is it there something more behind the walls you keep up that I know is there Or am I just kidding myself with false hope Why do I stay when I only seem to feel pain When you make little comments that put me back 10 feet Placing me so far away that I feel lost and confused Wondering what I did to have you push me away. If only I could walk away.. If only I could deny what I feel.. If only I could forget what I know.. Maybe then you would see what was right in-front of you. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

They sneak into your life unexpectedly, and completely intrigue you.. yet you don't know why. they haunt your dreams, your thoughts, everything you do. Is it infatuation, is it lust, is it love. Do we ever know. you know they know how you feel, yet why do they treat you like you aren’t there, like you don't exist. Yet one minute you do, but when someone else comes along you become invisible. Is it human nature. Is it because they are scared of a connection that might be right. Is it because that if they admit they have feelings that it might change the situation. Or is it called missing out on the chance of a lifetime.. missing out on something that could have.. should have... and would have been great. Something we will never know.. something only each person knows individually yet wont ever express to the other. Leaving you to wonder....... What If.......What if… you confessed everything to them.. how would they take it.. would they feel the same.. or would they laugh in your...

Light spilling from a door left open, Do you enter or do you pass by What will you find if you go in What would you pass up if you don’t It beckons you, entices you You walk closer and the light grows brighter Pushing the door open further you walk through, You see her thoughts, you see her feelings You have walked into her heart You have turned her world upside down, You make her smile in ways she never knew You make her melt in ways she never imagined Do you back away knowing all of this Do you turn back and close the door Do you hold on tight and never let go Do you tell her how you feel What do you do.. What do you do. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Why don’t you call? Do I not mean anything to you? You told me once I was stuck with you, Was this truth Or you telling me what I wanted to hear. Do you think about me? Do you even remember who I am? You told me you waited cause you loved me, Was this truth Or you telling me what I wanted to hear. Do you know that you hurt me? Do you even care? You told me you would call Was this truth Or you telling me what I wanted to hear. I guess we wont ever know. I guess I did mean nothing. I guess I was an inconvenience I guess everything was not the truth But only what I wanted to hear. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

A sharp piercing pain A heart left in shambles A mind confused by the events Where did your hurt come from? Left bewildered and angry Left all alone again Left with nothing to show but the hurt from love Where did your hurt come from? A chance meeting of a lifetime A twist of fate so wicked that could it be true A possibility that could bloom if given the chance Will you let love in again? Bewildered and confused again Could this be for real or just a taunt Will they run away and leave you all alone again Will you let love in again? Embrace the chance you are given Let love bloom in your heart and flourish Spread your wings and trust with all you have Because love will not leave again Plant your feet and fight for what you long Nurture and help this grow Be gentle, be kind, but be truthful Because love will not leave again… not this time. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

I feel your presence , safe and watching I hear your voice, low and soothing I feel your touch, slow and caressing Yet never see your face. Your breathe upon my skin like that of a feather My fingers trace your face like I have done it before The low tone of your voice soothes my nerves Yet I never see your face. Who is this man who stirs such emotions Emotions that laid dormant for years Emotions that were thought as lost Will I ever know his presence? Finger tips run over hard plains Feeling, memorizing for when I dream Whimpers and moans escape from my lips Please tell me I will know this man. Fire in my veins as time moves on Touches getting quicker and rougher Breathing becomes faster and more shallow I want to know this man. Eyes fly open Darkness envelops and cools my body A single tear escapes down my cheek Will I ever know this man? ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Who do you think you are? To think you could make him see you are worthy? Who do you think you are? To believe he could fall in love with you? Who do you think you are? To have thought he would want you? Stupid girl Such a stupid, stupid girl. You became like every other female. You let your guard down. You allowed your heart and soul to fall in love When it was not warranted nor being sought. Stupid girl, Such a stupid stupid girl You did not go looking, But realized when it was too late, That you were in love with a man Who did not want that, was not seeking, it and never wanted you. Stupid girl, Such a stupid girl to think he would ever love you. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

Sometimes I wonder why we are all here Does God truly have this grand plan? Does he anticipate our failings and strengths? Doe God understand this grand existence? Sometimes I wonder what my role is in this plan Do I have any clue? Do I know the answer, yet it is not revealed to me? Do I need to speak to God more than I do to have the answer? Sometimes I wonder if my path was planned for me Did God already know what my soul needed? Did God really watch every lifetime and predestine my future? Did God really see all that went on to know what I needed? Sometimes I think I know all the answers I seek I have seen things most would shudder at I have experienced things most would scuff at I have felt things for years I should not know Things happen for reasons beyond our knowing We often seek answers that are revealed later in life We often wish we knew everything at once We often want everything at once He does have a plan for us So never fear your life He watches day in and out To ensure t...

Sometimes I feel so small in this great big world Where do I go, where do I belong, where do I fit in Sometimes I wonder what my place is in this world Why am I here, Why do I continue to exist, Why am I really here What is my purpose, Why is it hidden from me Do I already know what it is Or am I too blind to see what it is I feel like such a small dot in this big big world, That I don’t even matter, That I don’t need to belong anymore That if I ceased to exist, no one would care.. Will I be remembered when I do finally leave this world Will I be known for something great Will I see all this world has to offer Will this pain ever really leave. The pain is so big that it feels like a canyon The pain is so large, that it swallows me whole The pain is so fierce that I wonder what it will do to me This pain seems to never end. The emptiness, loneliness it never seems to go away Try as I might to fight it off, it always creeps back up The black it engulfs, ensues me to the point I don’t kno...

Surrounded by darkness Faint glimmer of light from the phone Looking, watching, waiting Suddenly the shrill ring starts Hurriedly grasping for the phone Fumbling clumsily to answer it Franticly saying, Hello? Sadly not hearing the voice I wish to hear. Responding lethargically to asked questions. Hanging up only to weep from sadness Wondering what I have done to deserve such an ache Searching for an answer that I might never know. Feeling the sense of being lost Wanting to know why me, why now Love has cause me this pain And it may be the only cure to heal me. Will I know such a joy again? Will I feel that sense of euphoria, of longing, of needing? Will those same desires, wantings, needings be returns unto me by another? Only time can tell, only time shall heal this pain. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

I want to be lost , lost in your eyes, the eyes of your soul. Oh that soul, a soul so deep, just like the sea, so pure so true. I long for that soul, I long for that connection. A connection that binds a man and a woman. A connection that is theirs and theirs alone. A connection that lasts a life time and life times to come. One that is electric, one that is earth shattering, One that connects our souls. So when we become one, we fly high together and yet land as one. This is what I long for, for that one, who shall know my soul, as I know his. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

I seem to have lost The essence of who I am Where did it go? When did it go? Will I find it again? Saying things wrong Feeling so lost and confused Yet not knowing when it was lost How it was lost Or why it was lost Will I find it again? Disappoint ensues from all over Hurt and pain so great it shreds at my core Why am I lost? When did this happen Why did this happen Will I find it again? Lost on a path of destruction Lost on a path of sin Lost on a path of hurt and pain Help me find my way out Help me gain back my essence Help me become who I once was. Heavenly father, Angels of Mercy show me the light to end my demise Save this being from the dark, the evil dark. ©2008, Amanda Tachick

It has been so long Since you last sat with me Will you sit with me again And for how long will you stay? Twilight beckons as I stand on the porch The porch swing moves in the breeze Chirping of frogs heard in the distance Will you come sit with me? Watching the last rays of sun vanish The porch boards creaking under my feet Wrapped in the warmth of an old blanket Will you come sit with me? I can see your face as if it was yesterday The chiseled features of your face, The way the light danced in your dark eyes The way your hair curled in wild disarray Your hands so strong from a long hard day Yet soft when they touched my soul to the core The deep tone of your skin looking like it was kissed from the Sun Gods every day The curl of your lips when you were being mischievous. Your long strong arms to match the legs that went for miles and miles Looking upon you from my eyes always in a lazy haze That shown just what being with you does to me The lazy haze and longing look displayed on my...

Am I not good enough For someone to want For someone to yearn and need For someone to desire? Am I not good enough For a mother’s true praise For a mother’s unconditional love For a mother’s loving embrace? Why am I rejected for doing what is right For being the best that I can be For becoming someone a mother could be proud of Why am I punished? Why am I thrown to the curb by each lover Treated as if I wont comprehend their true intention Treated as if I can not think for myself Why am I treated this way? Is it because they are jealous of what I have? Is it because I have become what they have wanted to be? Is it because I have strength beyond my years Is it because I see and understand more than their feeble minds allow? I can not help who I am I can not help who I have become It is their loss They have lost out on the one great thing in their life. I will prevail I will remain strong I will continue down the path that is my destiny I will remain because I can see. I will survive. ©2...

Dreams are dreams, Unless you believe, That one day soon They will come true I used to believe That what I saw Was what my life Would soon involve I hoped and prayed For that day I would met this man And my life would be grand The day did come That we did meet Yet something was so terribly wrong His heart was broke And on the mend And the path he took Provided great walls No matter what I had seen No matter what I had felt The timing was wrong And never would be right This lifetime is not for us Even though of what I had seen But there is a love that knows no bounds That will bind once again in a lifetime to come. You were always there To lend an ear, a shoulder, a hug To make me laugh till I cried and my sides hurt. You picked me up when I was down You listened when I was pissed about life, about work Never judging, never walking away Then one day things changed Not for you, but for me And I grew scared. How could I have let my feelings come this far How could I have let this happen ...

Sitting alone in the dark Only light is the flicker of the tv The sounds of cars and trucks go by The sounds of people on the street drift up through the open windows Sitting alone in the dark. Laying alone in the dark The bed covers are now cold Only one body remains in this bed Will another occupy the other side Laying along in the dark. Walking alone in the dark Passing lovers on the street Watching her curl her body against his as they walk Watching him grip her closer Walking alone in the dark. Sitting alone in the dark The other half the couch empty Only sound is the snow on the TV Only one heart beat heard. Sitting alone in the dark. ©2008,Amanda Tachick

Night and day is how he lived Living his life and doing what he pleased A man of few words, yet a strong presence of mind He was always the seeker, the pusher, the finder. Fishing and hunting were among his many loves But when it came to work, he was a fiend. Building his small little company that became well known It was something he built all on his own. I remember as a child so little so small Him calling me his Manda Panda And feeling so grand, He always intrigued me by his command The smell of cigarette smoke, paint and fumes His chatter on hunting and fishing astounds His love for nature, family and friends Will supersede him through the end. So many watch over him with care Angels on earth and those already there Is it his time or shall he fight Or are things really alright? A man of few words, this is who he is The silent supporter in need of a hand. To help him have strength when he needs it most now To help give him a needed extra time. A man of few words, this is who he is P...